Ye Who Are Heavy Laden

                                          My Christmas Miracle

Matt 11:25-30

25 At that time Jesus answered and said, “I thank You, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You have hidden these things from the wise and prudent and have revealed them to babes. 26 Even so, Father, for so it seemed good in Your sight. 27 All things have been delivered to Me by My Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father. Nor does anyone know the Father except the Son, and the one to whom the Son wills to reveal Him. 28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” 

The day was December 17, 1999 and I was at a crisis point in my life. I had been forcefully and demonically asked to move out of the house that I shared with my ex-wife on September 19th of that same year. I was led into a small country church the next day by the HOLY SPIRIT. I was hurting severely having relied upon 6 Xanax as I drove from the property to cope with the fact of being thrown out of my house into total. The horrific depression of rejection, lies, schemes of the devil to destroy me through suicide and the rage of the betrayal that had been perpetrated against me. The only positive thing and the only one that matters is that my journey into my love of JESUS had started. I was going into the wilderness to be alone with JESUS not having any idea what was going on or how to proceed truly being lead of the HOLY SPIRIT but not even knowing who HE was. My comment had been “I am going to give this GOD thing a try.” That is how ignorant of JESUS and the Bible I was. I had tried every other worldly medication: alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, gambling, adultery, obsession with material things, arrogance and rage. Just look at Galatians 5:19-21 and you will know who I had become.

I immersed myself in the Word every day before I went to work and every night when I came home, around 4 hours a day of reading the Word. I did not have TV hooked up though I would watch movies made about Biblical themes on occasion; Ben Hur, Ten Commandments, The Robe, etc and at Christmas there was”It’s a Wonderful Life.” I still love all of them and they bring the remembrance of the joy of being saved by the KING!

Over the course of the next 3 months as I look back upon those days, the hand of GOD was all over my life. I read and read the Bible and yielded and yielded obeying that still, small Voice which had taken over my miserable, hopeless life. I was filled with depression and the despair that my life was never going to change and there was nothing that I could do about it. There were many struggles going on in my head as the devil was not easily going to surrender my soul. He owned me until that point. He certainly is the ‘master of deception and the father of lies.’ He would try his best to drag me back into the pit of hell upon this earth through carnal reasoning but blessed be the name of JESUS, I turned my life over to JESUS fully on that December 17. When the turning point of coming to that fork in the road of the destiny of my soul, the devil pulled out all of the stops. Using my ex-wife to launch the utmost height of betrayal upon me, the devil brought me to that final point of decision that night, Heaven or Hell.

It happens in a split second, in a flash of time the pistol was in my hand, my spirit close to defeat and my soul on the edge of eternal damnation. The devil was saying, “pull the trigger, your life is ‘never’ going to change, you will be in this pathetic state the rest of your life. Go ahead and pull the trigger, no one wants you around, no one loves you, you are not worthy of love, you are a loser and will never amount to anything. Kill yourself and that will show them.”  As I cocked the pistol and stuck it in my mouth, there came another Voice in my spirit and a hope which I cannot explain but which gave me hope to not take my life. I started to weep thanking JESUS for HIS love for me never to look back nor contemplate suicide again. My body and mind were washed with unexplanible joy. A glow covered me and ran through me in my heart, spirit and soul. There is indeed hope everlasting through surrender and obedience to JESUS and the sweet release of guilt through true and humble repentance.

Later in my walk with JESUS,  HE revealed to me through the HOLY SPIRIT that I had been cursed with the demonic torment of PTSD. I questioned how could I have PTSD, I had not been sent to Vietnam during my service in the USAF, 1970-1975. The answer to that question is PTSD is nothing but demonic torment. It can have legal access against us through several different avenues which can all be found in the Word. Physical, emotional, spiritual trauma can all be used by the devil to enter into us driving us to all of the symptoms of PTSD. Rejection, depression, hopelessness, despair and thoughts of suicide are all common denominators of PTSD -though not the entire list by any means, but know this every symptom of PTSD has a demonic spirit behind it none of which is mental illness. Mental illness does not exist, it is a lie spoken by those who do not understand the spiritual realm. It is man’s way of excusing his lack of ability to ‘cure’ PTSD or any other pyscho-anylitical label they would diagnose you with . The carnal cannot deliver you of spiritual torment but they will prescribe drugs to medicate and numb you. Every symptom/curse can be broken, cast off and out of your life. There is nothing impossible for JESUS. HE is your only DELIVERER!

As to how did a veteran who never served in a combat zone develop PTSD, here is the answer. The following revelation was gleaned from the outstanding book written by Chuck Dean—Nam Vet, available on Amazon and worth every nickel. I had read this book, receiving a deep revelation for those who had served in Vietnam and seeing that the only way out of PTSD is through JESUS. This is what the book, Nam Vet, revealed to me which is key.  Chuck wrote that at the end of the runway at the AirBase that the troops flew into Vietnam and out of when they deployed back to the States was a Buddhist Temple and that the monks sat there meditating and praying curses upon the US Military. The monks prayed that ‘we would be filled with a spirit of hopelessness and despair and that we would be filled with rage and never find peace in our hearts.’ These last words are not verbatim of the book but the jist. (Please forgive me Chuck if I have taken liberty with your words).

Okay LORD how did I fall under those curses, I never set foot in Vietnam. The answer was this from the HOLY SPIRIT. When curses or prayers of the wicked are sent up against a target, the US Military in this instance, distance has no relevance only the target or subject being attacked or cursed. All in the US Military during the Vietnam war were targets and since many of us were of the ‘sex, drugs and rock-n-roll’ generation , we were prime targets. Don’t let us forget the outrage of being rejected, betrayed and criticized by many who evaded service in some manner but instead of sympathy and compassion showed up at the airports, spitting upon our young troops as they returned to the US. Calling them baby-killers and any other sort of insult they could muster.The curses of the wicked are very powerful and only those who are truly born-again and walking in absolute faith in JESUS have the power to withstand these demonic spirits sent against them. Those who are not born-again are not aware of demonic warfare and are defenseless. When we mix unbelief and sin/substance abuse we are a legitimate target that is taken over by the demonic in many cases, the devil has legal authority to open a heavy barrage against us and our house. (More on PTSD in later writings)

To wrap this up, JESUS delivered me from/broke the curse of PTSD from me. I do not suffer any of those symptoms any longer since 1999 the day I was born-again and have not considered suicide since then. Yes I must be on guard against the enemy for the devil goes to and fro throughout the world looking to kill, steal and destroy but through the Word and JESUS we will prevail. YOU CAN OVERCOME THE DEVIL RIGHT NOW JUST IN TIME TO CELEBRATE THIS YEAR, BE FILLED WITH JOY IN SPITE OF YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES AND START WALKING OUT OF THE PIT OF HELL THAT THE DEVIL HAS TOLD YOU THAT YOU WILL NEVER ESCAPE. THE DEVIL IS THE KILLER  BUT JESUS WILL GIVE YOU ETERNAL LIFE RIGHT NOW. LOOK UP FOR YOUR REDEMPTION DRAWS NIGH! SURRENDER YOU LIFE RIGHT NOW AND BE SET FREE IN JESUS NAME.

LORD JESUS, I pray for all of those with a broken-heart, you know each of them and where they are. YOU love each of them, YOU love us all. I pray every curse be broken, every lying spirit be gone, every assignment of the devil broken, every heart be humbled in GODly sorrow and brought to sweet repentance. I pray that everyone reading this, that the HOLY SPIRIT witness to them that this be true, that their hearts be filled with hope and gladness that can only come from totally submitting our lives to JESUS as LORD and SAVIOR from this moment forth. I command that spirit of death, the spirit of suicide be gone from every one tormented by the legion of PTSD today in the name of JESUS, that every family of any who serve this nation in uniform be the they military, police, firemen be set free and born-again. Let all arise and give glory to the ONE who died that we who truly receive JESUS might spend eternity in Heaven.

Prophecy given to me by the HOLY SPIRIT in 2003 for Vietnam Veterans:

I AM going to raise up many Vietnam Veterans into my mighty Special Forces! Though they may have fallen back/short then they will not fall short this time for I am going to baptize them in HOLY FIRE and they will not turn back this time even unto death.

Though my life has not been all ‘a bed of roses’ it surely has been full of the joy of knowing that JESUS is in total control of all that happens. Knowing that if I keep my eyes on JESUS through ‘every’ situation and every decision, reading the Word and praying for HIS direction and His direction alone HE will carry me through, AMEN and AMEN.

Please note that the above is certainly not a full listing of PTSD but is relevant to my walk and experiences into freedom from PTSD and my escape from death at the devil’s hand. I love you all and pray for peace in your heart’s for Christmas and the rest of your live’s.

When I first started reading the Word, I used the KJV which for me was a hard read for me.  One day my Mother presented me with a life application study Bible and my comprehension shot through the roof with the leading and the teaching of the HOLY SPIRIT. I now though highly recommend the NKJV study Bible. It is and was a true blessing in my walk.